I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
