im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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