you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
