a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
So much rum. So many feels.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize