She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
