she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
