I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
