curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I am available for nakedness
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
