i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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