Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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