All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize