escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
