Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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