Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
