i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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