And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
