Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
