If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
