what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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