Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
