I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
