He asked me if I "almost moaned"
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Randomize
