I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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