Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
