I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
