brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I am in a vortex of obligation.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
