i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
