Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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