I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
