worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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