I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize