She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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