I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
