The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
