You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
my god I love twenty year old dicks
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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