no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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