I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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