I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Randomize
