Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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