did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
