I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
