so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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