So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Randomize
