Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
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