are you still at the devil's house?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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