They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
