Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
