How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
