you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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