Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
