Nicole vs. Life
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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