hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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