i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You dont lie about slip and slides
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
