I'm laying in your front yard are you home
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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