One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
