I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
