I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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