How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
We need a shit load of segways right now
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
