I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
