mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize