I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
