Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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