he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize