she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
