Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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