What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
