Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
